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Interest-Based Negotiation – Collaborative Divorce | North Carolina

Mark Springfield | 388 Views | 03/11/2015

Hi, I’m Mark Springfield. Founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Dr. Brian Mackey, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh.,Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Method – Will I Be Protected?

A common question I get from folks trying to decide whether or not to use the collaborative method is “will I be protected?” Will I be better off with a more adversarial lawyer? In general, my answer is you’ll be better protected using the collaborative method. The reason I say this is because we use a newer technology for negotiating to resolve disagreements.It’s often called Interest-Based or Problem-Solving Negotiation. And it’s designed to ensure that any agreement addresses your needs more completely than an adversarial process can do.

The Negotiation Model

The older technology, the negotiation model, often use by attorneys is really a form of haggling. It’s called Position-Based Negotiation. It’s horse-trading, and it hasn’t changed in hundreds even thousands of years. It leads to less than optimal agreements.

Interest-Based Negotiation

The Interest-Based Negotiation model developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project and described in the best selling book “Getting to Yes”. It’s the model collaborative attorneys use to read optimal solutions. The model tells us to look beyond each position and define the underlying needs driving that position. Then, we look for a variety of options, which meet those needs.

As a result, the solutions are often better for our clients than the outcomes they would get in court. The classic illustration of the Interest-Based Negotiation model is a story of the two sisters and the oranges.

One day, two sisters went to their kitchen. Each one asking their dad for 12 oranges. In the framework of the Position-Based Negotiation model the older sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. But the younger sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. So dad looks in the pantry and finds only 12 oranges. He decides the best he can do is give each sisters 6. The sisters leave the kitchen feeling very unsatisfied with this outcome. Both got only half of what they requested. This is a typical outcome in the Position-Based Negotiation. As it turns out if dad had understood the Interest-Based Negotiation model, he could have looked behind the sister’s positions for the underlying needs and a better solution would have been clear.

Both sisters needed to earn some money. The older sister planned to use the orange rinds to make cakes to sell at her school’s bake sell fundraiser. While the younger sister planned to sell orange juice at her neighborhood orange juice stand. If someone had helped these sisters explained why they wanted the oranges, they each could have gotten all of what they wanted. The Interest-Based Negotiation model is the heart of the collaborative divorce method.

Good collaborative attorneys are highly skilled in surfacing interest like whether the sisters need oranges or whether what they really after is orange juice and cakes. And good collaborative attorneys help designed optimal strategies to address those interests. An over simplified example in the collaborative process might be when parents have a heartfelt disagreement over how to schedule time with the young children in the two homes. Perhaps dad is insisting that the children should be at his house on weeknights. But mom is also insisting that the children should be with her on weeknights. These positions are diametrically opposed.

In the collaborative process we work to understand the interest beneath these positions. In this example we might learn that dad’s worried because he wants to continue to have a loving connection with the children, and he’s unsure how the separation will affect his relationships. From mom’s perspective we might learn that she’s concerned because she knows how dad is. She wonders if she’s not there will the children get to bed on time? Will they get their homework done? Will they get bathed? Will they get fed? She’s concerned for their care and nurturing. Both parents have legitimate interest and needs. Having the children in each of their homes during the week is one strategy for addressing their needs. But in the collaborative process we would search for a parenting plan that can work for both parents and for the children.

What I see first and foremost in our collaborative method is a team dedicated to making a healthier, more successfully family. The professionals on your team receive specific intense training in a skill called Non-violent Communication. Non-violent Communication or NVC doesn’t just mean using nice words at its core. It’s a way of problem solving during conflict that maximizes the chance that all of the people participating are able to get their needs heard and met. When I watch the attorneys and professionals at work during one of our collaborative meetings I’m always struck by how much effort they put in to making it safe, peaceful and emphatic. The professionals present are trying actively to listen and get the core needs of both spouses met. This expert training at understanding human emotion and conflict creates an intensely productive reassuring environment, where very difficult conversations can have very successful outcomes. This dedication to Non-violent Communication creates the perfect atmosphere for problem solving even in the midst of very difficult emotions instead of manipulating people or threatening them, especially during already vulnerable time. It seeks to give them understanding and make them feel heard. Team members give everyone present.

The opportunity to give and receive empathy and hold the space in the moment so that parents can really access their best short and long term problem solving skills. Collaborative divorce is a method of divorcing that allows individuals to have an attorney and be protected. And that encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. It creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.

By: Mark Springfield

Interest-Based Negotiation – Collaborative Divorce | North Carolina

Hi, I’m Mark Springfield. Founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Dr. Brian Mackey, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh.,Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Method – Will I Be Protected?

A common question I get from folks trying to decide whether or not to use the collaborative method is “will I be protected?” Will I be better off with a more adversarial lawyer? In general, my answer is you’ll be better protected using the collaborative method. The reason I say this is because we use a newer technology for negotiating to resolve disagreements.It’s often called Interest-Based or Problem-Solving Negotiation. And it’s designed to ensure that any agreement addresses your needs more completely than an adversarial process can do.

The Negotiation Model

The older technology, the negotiation model, often use by attorneys is really a form of haggling. It’s called Position-Based Negotiation. It’s horse-trading, and it hasn’t changed in hundreds even thousands of years. It leads to less than optimal agreements.

Interest-Based Negotiation

The Interest-Based Negotiation model developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project and described in the best selling book “Getting to Yes”. It’s the model collaborative attorneys use to read optimal solutions. The model tells us to look beyond each position and define the underlying needs driving that position. Then, we look for a variety of options, which meet those needs.

As a result, the solutions are often better for our clients than the outcomes they would get in court. The classic illustration of the Interest-Based Negotiation model is a story of the two sisters and the oranges.

One day, two sisters went to their kitchen. Each one asking their dad for 12 oranges. In the framework of the Position-Based Negotiation model the older sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. But the younger sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. So dad looks in the pantry and finds only 12 oranges. He decides the best he can do is give each sisters 6. The sisters leave the kitchen feeling very unsatisfied with this outcome. Both got only half of what they requested. This is a typical outcome in the Position-Based Negotiation. As it turns out if dad had understood the Interest-Based Negotiation model, he could have looked behind the sister’s positions for the underlying needs and a better solution would have been clear.

Both sisters needed to earn some money. The older sister planned to use the orange rinds to make cakes to sell at her school’s bake sell fundraiser. While the younger sister planned to sell orange juice at her neighborhood orange juice stand. If someone had helped these sisters explained why they wanted the oranges, they each could have gotten all of what they wanted. The Interest-Based Negotiation model is the heart of the collaborative divorce method.

Good collaborative attorneys are highly skilled in surfacing interest like whether the sisters need oranges or whether what they really after is orange juice and cakes. And good collaborative attorneys help designed optimal strategies to address those interests. An over simplified example in the collaborative process might be when parents have a heartfelt disagreement over how to schedule time with the young children in the two homes. Perhaps dad is insisting that the children should be at his house on weeknights. But mom is also insisting that the children should be with her on weeknights. These positions are diametrically opposed.

In the collaborative process we work to understand the interest beneath these positions. In this example we might learn that dad’s worried because he wants to continue to have a loving connection with the children, and he’s unsure how the separation will affect his relationships. From mom’s perspective we might learn that she’s concerned because she knows how dad is. She wonders if she’s not there will the children get to bed on time? Will they get their homework done? Will they get bathed? Will they get fed? She’s concerned for their care and nurturing. Both parents have legitimate interest and needs. Having the children in each of their homes during the week is one strategy for addressing their needs. But in the collaborative process we would search for a parenting plan that can work for both parents and for the children.

What I see first and foremost in our collaborative method is a team dedicated to making a healthier, more successfully family. The professionals on your team receive specific intense training in a skill called Non-violent Communication. Non-violent Communication or NVC doesn’t just mean using nice words at its core. It’s a way of problem solving during conflict that maximizes the chance that all of the people participating are able to get their needs heard and met. When I watch the attorneys and professionals at work during one of our collaborative meetings I’m always struck by how much effort they put in to making it safe, peaceful and emphatic. The professionals present are trying actively to listen and get the core needs of both spouses met. This expert training at understanding human emotion and conflict creates an intensely productive reassuring environment, where very difficult conversations can have very successful outcomes. This dedication to Non-violent Communication creates the perfect atmosphere for problem solving even in the midst of very difficult emotions instead of manipulating people or threatening them, especially during already vulnerable time. It seeks to give them understanding and make them feel heard. Team members give everyone present.

The opportunity to give and receive empathy and hold the space in the moment so that parents can really access their best short and long term problem solving skills. Collaborative divorce is a method of divorcing that allows individuals to have an attorney and be protected. And that encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. It creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.

By: Mark Springfield