Hi. I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh, partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. I’m Mike Kothakota, collaborative financial specialist.
A question I sometimes get when a person is considering the collaborative divorce method is this. “I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’ve never handled the family finances. Can the collaborative divorce method work for me?” And my answer is that yes, the collaborative divorce method often works very well, even for a spouse who’s not familiar with the family’s investments or who’s not involved with the other spouse’s business. What I recommend in this situation is that a collaborative financial specialist be made a part of the team along with the collaborative attorneys who represent each of the spouses. The collaborative financial specialist is a neutral.
This means that the financial specialist is retained jointly by both spouses, and the financial specialist is someone who is trusted by both of the collaborative attorneys to provide accurate information that’s not biased for or against either of the spouses. When I’m talking to people about their options, I often describe the family law statutes as a very blunt instrument that judges must use when they divide assets and debt. This is because the law does not require that judges provide property and debt in a way that makes financial sense for the family. Judges don’t need to consider financial projections for each spouse. So that makes the chances of getting to an optimal distribution less likely.
Not surprisingly, couples sometimes end up in financial hardships that could have been avoided. In collaborative divorce, instead of relying just on legal statutes, we also use more precise financial tools. A financial specialist uses these tools to help the couple generate different options. He shows them what the options they’re considering look like down the road. This allows the couple to make informed choices when deciding how to separate their finances. They are empowered to do it in a way that makes sense to their unique situation. A neutral financial specialist provides an atmosphere that creates balance in the financial knowledge of both spouses.
Often one spouse has a need to be brought up to speed on the current financial condition of the marital household. By hiring someone who is strictly neutral, both people can be assured that the open and free flow of information is happening. Financial specialists can help the couple create personalized budgets, identify evaluation issues for property, and create opportunities to minimize the financial impact of the divorce on the family. Using collaborative training, the specialist combines empathy and financial expertise to help both spouses realize the optimal outcome for their family. Most of the people I work with in collaborative divorce are very interested in navigating this life transition in a healthy way.
Arguments around finances can create unnecessary drama in a divorce process. At Springfield Collaborative Divorce, we often find that adding the financial specialist to the collaborative team helps encourage cooperation instead of confrontation and helps to create an environment where a couple can address their financial issues with dignity and display respect, integrity, and kindness toward each other.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi. I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh, partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. I’m Mike Kothakota, collaborative financial specialist.
A question I sometimes get when a person is considering the collaborative divorce method is this. “I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’ve never handled the family finances. Can the collaborative divorce method work for me?” And my answer is that yes, the collaborative divorce method often works very well, even for a spouse who’s not familiar with the family’s investments or who’s not involved with the other spouse’s business. What I recommend in this situation is that a collaborative financial specialist be made a part of the team along with the collaborative attorneys who represent each of the spouses. The collaborative financial specialist is a neutral.
This means that the financial specialist is retained jointly by both spouses, and the financial specialist is someone who is trusted by both of the collaborative attorneys to provide accurate information that’s not biased for or against either of the spouses. When I’m talking to people about their options, I often describe the family law statutes as a very blunt instrument that judges must use when they divide assets and debt. This is because the law does not require that judges provide property and debt in a way that makes financial sense for the family. Judges don’t need to consider financial projections for each spouse. So that makes the chances of getting to an optimal distribution less likely.
Not surprisingly, couples sometimes end up in financial hardships that could have been avoided. In collaborative divorce, instead of relying just on legal statutes, we also use more precise financial tools. A financial specialist uses these tools to help the couple generate different options. He shows them what the options they’re considering look like down the road. This allows the couple to make informed choices when deciding how to separate their finances. They are empowered to do it in a way that makes sense to their unique situation. A neutral financial specialist provides an atmosphere that creates balance in the financial knowledge of both spouses.
Often one spouse has a need to be brought up to speed on the current financial condition of the marital household. By hiring someone who is strictly neutral, both people can be assured that the open and free flow of information is happening. Financial specialists can help the couple create personalized budgets, identify evaluation issues for property, and create opportunities to minimize the financial impact of the divorce on the family. Using collaborative training, the specialist combines empathy and financial expertise to help both spouses realize the optimal outcome for their family. Most of the people I work with in collaborative divorce are very interested in navigating this life transition in a healthy way.
Arguments around finances can create unnecessary drama in a divorce process. At Springfield Collaborative Divorce, we often find that adding the financial specialist to the collaborative team helps encourage cooperation instead of confrontation and helps to create an environment where a couple can address their financial issues with dignity and display respect, integrity, and kindness toward each other.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi. I’m Mark Springfield. Founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi. I’m Dr. Brian Mackey. A child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh. Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from folks trying to decide whether or not to use the collaborative method is “will I be protected?” Will I be better off with a more adversarial lawyer? In general, my answer is you’ll be better protected using the collaborative method. The reason I say this is because we use a newer technology for negotiating to resolve disagreements. It’s often called Interest-Based or Problem-Solving Negotiation. And it’s designed to ensure that any agreement addresses your needs more completely than an adversarial process can do.
The older technology, the negotiation model often use by attorneys is really a form of haggling. It’s called Position-Based Negotiation. It’s horse-trading, and it hasn’t changed in hundreds even thousands of years. It leads to less than optimal agreements. The Interest-Based Negotiation model developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project and described in the best selling book “Getting to Yes”. It’s the model collaborative attorneys use to read optimal solutions. The model tells us to look beyond each position and define the underlying needs driving that position. Then, we look for a variety of options, which meet those needs. As a result the solutions are often better for our clients than the outcomes they would get in court.
The classic illustration of the Interest-Based Negotiation model is a story of the two sisters and the oranges. One day, two sisters went to their kitchen. Each one asking their dad for 12 oranges. In the framework of the Position-Based Negotiation model the older sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. But the younger sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. So dad looks in the pantry and finds only 12 oranges. He decides the best he can do is give each sisters 6. The sisters leave the kitchen feeling very unsatisfied with this outcome. Both got only half of what they requested. This is a typical outcome in the Position-Based Negotiation. As it turns out if dad had understood the Interspace Negotiation model, he could have looked behind the sister’s positions for the underlying needs and a better solution would have been clear. Both sisters needed to earn some money. The older sister planned to use the orange rinds to make cakes to sell at her school’s bake sell fundraiser. While the younger sister planned to sell orange juice at her neighborhood orange juice stand. If someone had helped these sisters explained why they wanted the oranges, they each could have gotten all of what they wanted.
The Interspace Negotiation model is the heart of the collaborative divorce method. Good collaborative attorneys are highly skilled in surfacing interest like whether the sisters need oranges or whether what they really after is orange juice and cakes. And good collaborative attorneys help designed optimal strategies to address those interests. An over simplified example in the collaborative process might be when parents have a heartfelt disagreement over how to schedule time with the young children in the two homes. Perhaps dad is insisting that the children should be at his house on weeknights. But mom is also insisting that the children should be with her on weeknights. These positions are diametrically opposed. In the collaborative process we work to understand the interest beneath these positions. In this example we might learn that dad’s worried because he wants to continue to have a loving connection with the children, and he’s unsure how the separation will affect his relationships.
From mom’s perspective we might learn that she’s concerned because she knows how dad is. She wonders if she’s not there will the children get to bed on time? Will they get their homework done? Will they get bathed? Will they get fed? She’s concerned for their care and nurturing. Both parents have legitimate interest and needs. Having the children in each of their homes during the week is one strategy for addressing their needs. But in the collaborative process we would search for a parenting plan that can work for both parents and for the children. What I see first and foremost in our collaborative method is a team dedicated to making a healthier, more successfully family. The professionals on your team receive specific intense training in a skill called Nonviolent Communication. Nonviolent Communication or NVC doesn’t just mean using nice words at its core. It’s a way of problem solving during conflict that maximizes the chance that all of the people participating are able to get their needs heard and met. When I watch the attorneys and professionals at work during one of our collaborative meetings I’m always struck by how much effort they put in to making it safe, peaceful and emphatic. The professionals present are trying actively to listen and get the core needs of both spouses met. This expert training at understanding human emotion and conflict creates an intensely productive reassuring environment, where very difficult conversations can have very successful outcomes. This dedication to Nonviolent Communication creates the perfect atmosphere for problem solving even in the midst of very difficult emotions instead of manipulating people or threatening them, especially during already vulnerable time. It seeks to give them understanding and make them feel heard. Team members give everyone present. The opportunity to give and receive empathy and hold the space in the moment so that parents can really access their best short and long term problem solving skills. Collaborative divorce is a method of divorcing that allows individuals to have an attorney and be protected. And that encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. It creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi. I’m Mark Springfield. Founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi. I’m Dr. Brian Mackey. A child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh. Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from folks trying to decide whether or not to use the collaborative method is “will I be protected?” Will I be better off with a more adversarial lawyer? In general, my answer is you’ll be better protected using the collaborative method. The reason I say this is because we use a newer technology for negotiating to resolve disagreements. It’s often called Interest-Based or Problem-Solving Negotiation. And it’s designed to ensure that any agreement addresses your needs more completely than an adversarial process can do.
The older technology, the negotiation model often use by attorneys is really a form of haggling. It’s called Position-Based Negotiation. It’s horse-trading, and it hasn’t changed in hundreds even thousands of years. It leads to less than optimal agreements. The Interest-Based Negotiation model developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project and described in the best selling book “Getting to Yes”. It’s the model collaborative attorneys use to read optimal solutions. The model tells us to look beyond each position and define the underlying needs driving that position. Then, we look for a variety of options, which meet those needs. As a result the solutions are often better for our clients than the outcomes they would get in court.
The classic illustration of the Interest-Based Negotiation model is a story of the two sisters and the oranges. One day, two sisters went to their kitchen. Each one asking their dad for 12 oranges. In the framework of the Position-Based Negotiation model the older sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. But the younger sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. So dad looks in the pantry and finds only 12 oranges. He decides the best he can do is give each sisters 6. The sisters leave the kitchen feeling very unsatisfied with this outcome. Both got only half of what they requested. This is a typical outcome in the Position-Based Negotiation. As it turns out if dad had understood the Interspace Negotiation model, he could have looked behind the sister’s positions for the underlying needs and a better solution would have been clear. Both sisters needed to earn some money. The older sister planned to use the orange rinds to make cakes to sell at her school’s bake sell fundraiser. While the younger sister planned to sell orange juice at her neighborhood orange juice stand. If someone had helped these sisters explained why they wanted the oranges, they each could have gotten all of what they wanted.
The Interspace Negotiation model is the heart of the collaborative divorce method. Good collaborative attorneys are highly skilled in surfacing interest like whether the sisters need oranges or whether what they really after is orange juice and cakes. And good collaborative attorneys help designed optimal strategies to address those interests. An over simplified example in the collaborative process might be when parents have a heartfelt disagreement over how to schedule time with the young children in the two homes. Perhaps dad is insisting that the children should be at his house on weeknights. But mom is also insisting that the children should be with her on weeknights. These positions are diametrically opposed. In the collaborative process we work to understand the interest beneath these positions. In this example we might learn that dad’s worried because he wants to continue to have a loving connection with the children, and he’s unsure how the separation will affect his relationships.
From mom’s perspective we might learn that she’s concerned because she knows how dad is. She wonders if she’s not there will the children get to bed on time? Will they get their homework done? Will they get bathed? Will they get fed? She’s concerned for their care and nurturing. Both parents have legitimate interest and needs. Having the children in each of their homes during the week is one strategy for addressing their needs. But in the collaborative process we would search for a parenting plan that can work for both parents and for the children. What I see first and foremost in our collaborative method is a team dedicated to making a healthier, more successfully family. The professionals on your team receive specific intense training in a skill called Nonviolent Communication. Nonviolent Communication or NVC doesn’t just mean using nice words at its core. It’s a way of problem solving during conflict that maximizes the chance that all of the people participating are able to get their needs heard and met. When I watch the attorneys and professionals at work during one of our collaborative meetings I’m always struck by how much effort they put in to making it safe, peaceful and emphatic. The professionals present are trying actively to listen and get the core needs of both spouses met. This expert training at understanding human emotion and conflict creates an intensely productive reassuring environment, where very difficult conversations can have very successful outcomes. This dedication to Nonviolent Communication creates the perfect atmosphere for problem solving even in the midst of very difficult emotions instead of manipulating people or threatening them, especially during already vulnerable time. It seeks to give them understanding and make them feel heard. Team members give everyone present. The opportunity to give and receive empathy and hold the space in the moment so that parents can really access their best short and long term problem solving skills. Collaborative divorce is a method of divorcing that allows individuals to have an attorney and be protected. And that encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. It creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield. Founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Dr. Brian Mackey, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh.,Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from folks trying to decide whether or not to use the collaborative method is “will I be protected?” Will I be better off with a more adversarial lawyer? In general, my answer is you’ll be better protected using the collaborative method. The reason I say this is because we use a newer technology for negotiating to resolve disagreements.It’s often called Interest-Based or Problem-Solving Negotiation. And it’s designed to ensure that any agreement addresses your needs more completely than an adversarial process can do.
The older technology, the negotiation model, often use by attorneys is really a form of haggling. It’s called Position-Based Negotiation. It’s horse-trading, and it hasn’t changed in hundreds even thousands of years. It leads to less than optimal agreements.
The Interest-Based Negotiation model developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project and described in the best selling book “Getting to Yes”. It’s the model collaborative attorneys use to read optimal solutions. The model tells us to look beyond each position and define the underlying needs driving that position. Then, we look for a variety of options, which meet those needs.
As a result, the solutions are often better for our clients than the outcomes they would get in court. The classic illustration of the Interest-Based Negotiation model is a story of the two sisters and the oranges.
One day, two sisters went to their kitchen. Each one asking their dad for 12 oranges. In the framework of the Position-Based Negotiation model the older sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. But the younger sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. So dad looks in the pantry and finds only 12 oranges. He decides the best he can do is give each sisters 6. The sisters leave the kitchen feeling very unsatisfied with this outcome. Both got only half of what they requested. This is a typical outcome in the Position-Based Negotiation. As it turns out if dad had understood the Interest-Based Negotiation model, he could have looked behind the sister’s positions for the underlying needs and a better solution would have been clear.
Both sisters needed to earn some money. The older sister planned to use the orange rinds to make cakes to sell at her school’s bake sell fundraiser. While the younger sister planned to sell orange juice at her neighborhood orange juice stand. If someone had helped these sisters explained why they wanted the oranges, they each could have gotten all of what they wanted. The Interest-Based Negotiation model is the heart of the collaborative divorce method.
Good collaborative attorneys are highly skilled in surfacing interest like whether the sisters need oranges or whether what they really after is orange juice and cakes. And good collaborative attorneys help designed optimal strategies to address those interests. An over simplified example in the collaborative process might be when parents have a heartfelt disagreement over how to schedule time with the young children in the two homes. Perhaps dad is insisting that the children should be at his house on weeknights. But mom is also insisting that the children should be with her on weeknights. These positions are diametrically opposed.
In the collaborative process we work to understand the interest beneath these positions. In this example we might learn that dad’s worried because he wants to continue to have a loving connection with the children, and he’s unsure how the separation will affect his relationships. From mom’s perspective we might learn that she’s concerned because she knows how dad is. She wonders if she’s not there will the children get to bed on time? Will they get their homework done? Will they get bathed? Will they get fed? She’s concerned for their care and nurturing. Both parents have legitimate interest and needs. Having the children in each of their homes during the week is one strategy for addressing their needs. But in the collaborative process we would search for a parenting plan that can work for both parents and for the children.
What I see first and foremost in our collaborative method is a team dedicated to making a healthier, more successfully family. The professionals on your team receive specific intense training in a skill called Non-violent Communication. Non-violent Communication or NVC doesn’t just mean using nice words at its core. It’s a way of problem solving during conflict that maximizes the chance that all of the people participating are able to get their needs heard and met. When I watch the attorneys and professionals at work during one of our collaborative meetings I’m always struck by how much effort they put in to making it safe, peaceful and emphatic. The professionals present are trying actively to listen and get the core needs of both spouses met. This expert training at understanding human emotion and conflict creates an intensely productive reassuring environment, where very difficult conversations can have very successful outcomes. This dedication to Non-violent Communication creates the perfect atmosphere for problem solving even in the midst of very difficult emotions instead of manipulating people or threatening them, especially during already vulnerable time. It seeks to give them understanding and make them feel heard. Team members give everyone present.
The opportunity to give and receive empathy and hold the space in the moment so that parents can really access their best short and long term problem solving skills. Collaborative divorce is a method of divorcing that allows individuals to have an attorney and be protected. And that encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. It creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield. Founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Dr. Brian Mackey, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh.,Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from folks trying to decide whether or not to use the collaborative method is “will I be protected?” Will I be better off with a more adversarial lawyer? In general, my answer is you’ll be better protected using the collaborative method. The reason I say this is because we use a newer technology for negotiating to resolve disagreements.It’s often called Interest-Based or Problem-Solving Negotiation. And it’s designed to ensure that any agreement addresses your needs more completely than an adversarial process can do.
The older technology, the negotiation model, often use by attorneys is really a form of haggling. It’s called Position-Based Negotiation. It’s horse-trading, and it hasn’t changed in hundreds even thousands of years. It leads to less than optimal agreements.
The Interest-Based Negotiation model developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project and described in the best selling book “Getting to Yes”. It’s the model collaborative attorneys use to read optimal solutions. The model tells us to look beyond each position and define the underlying needs driving that position. Then, we look for a variety of options, which meet those needs.
As a result, the solutions are often better for our clients than the outcomes they would get in court. The classic illustration of the Interest-Based Negotiation model is a story of the two sisters and the oranges.
One day, two sisters went to their kitchen. Each one asking their dad for 12 oranges. In the framework of the Position-Based Negotiation model the older sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. But the younger sister’s position is that she needs 12 oranges. So dad looks in the pantry and finds only 12 oranges. He decides the best he can do is give each sisters 6. The sisters leave the kitchen feeling very unsatisfied with this outcome. Both got only half of what they requested. This is a typical outcome in the Position-Based Negotiation. As it turns out if dad had understood the Interest-Based Negotiation model, he could have looked behind the sister’s positions for the underlying needs and a better solution would have been clear.
Both sisters needed to earn some money. The older sister planned to use the orange rinds to make cakes to sell at her school’s bake sell fundraiser. While the younger sister planned to sell orange juice at her neighborhood orange juice stand. If someone had helped these sisters explained why they wanted the oranges, they each could have gotten all of what they wanted. The Interest-Based Negotiation model is the heart of the collaborative divorce method.
Good collaborative attorneys are highly skilled in surfacing interest like whether the sisters need oranges or whether what they really after is orange juice and cakes. And good collaborative attorneys help designed optimal strategies to address those interests. An over simplified example in the collaborative process might be when parents have a heartfelt disagreement over how to schedule time with the young children in the two homes. Perhaps dad is insisting that the children should be at his house on weeknights. But mom is also insisting that the children should be with her on weeknights. These positions are diametrically opposed.
In the collaborative process we work to understand the interest beneath these positions. In this example we might learn that dad’s worried because he wants to continue to have a loving connection with the children, and he’s unsure how the separation will affect his relationships. From mom’s perspective we might learn that she’s concerned because she knows how dad is. She wonders if she’s not there will the children get to bed on time? Will they get their homework done? Will they get bathed? Will they get fed? She’s concerned for their care and nurturing. Both parents have legitimate interest and needs. Having the children in each of their homes during the week is one strategy for addressing their needs. But in the collaborative process we would search for a parenting plan that can work for both parents and for the children.
What I see first and foremost in our collaborative method is a team dedicated to making a healthier, more successfully family. The professionals on your team receive specific intense training in a skill called Non-violent Communication. Non-violent Communication or NVC doesn’t just mean using nice words at its core. It’s a way of problem solving during conflict that maximizes the chance that all of the people participating are able to get their needs heard and met. When I watch the attorneys and professionals at work during one of our collaborative meetings I’m always struck by how much effort they put in to making it safe, peaceful and emphatic. The professionals present are trying actively to listen and get the core needs of both spouses met. This expert training at understanding human emotion and conflict creates an intensely productive reassuring environment, where very difficult conversations can have very successful outcomes. This dedication to Non-violent Communication creates the perfect atmosphere for problem solving even in the midst of very difficult emotions instead of manipulating people or threatening them, especially during already vulnerable time. It seeks to give them understanding and make them feel heard. Team members give everyone present.
The opportunity to give and receive empathy and hold the space in the moment so that parents can really access their best short and long term problem solving skills. Collaborative divorce is a method of divorcing that allows individuals to have an attorney and be protected. And that encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. It creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackie, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh, law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from couples with children is, “Do I really need to involve a child specialist? My children seem to be doing okay.” My answer is always, “Please, for the sake of your children, seriously consider involving a child specialist.” A child specialist can have a dramatic impact on how well your children make this life transition. What children need most during a time of great uncertainty is to have their needs understood, and to have their needs considered as part of the family’s future. The most important benefit of Collaborative Divorce is that children get a voice in their future. This voice empowers them, helping them to feel connected, confident, and comfortable, in what would ordinarily be a very scary and confusing time in their life.
Having this voice produces healthier children and healthier families. In this process, your child works with someone like me. Someone fun and entertaining, a child psychologist specifically trained as an expert on the impact of divorce on children. The child specialist focuses on helping your child relax, and share their true feelings, desires, and worries about the future. The child specialist then sits down with the parents, and shares the needs of the children in a clear caring way. And serves as a resource for them going forward, to address their questions and concerns. Even if your children are doing exceptionally well, or even just doing fine, hearing that they’re okay from a trusted neutral expert on child development, can build a huge amount of confidence for parents. Helping free them up to make difficult decisions with a crystal clear understanding of their children’s social, emotional, and behavioral needs. In our process, you get your questions answered, your concerns heard and addressed, and most importantly, you get concrete, caring, expert advice on what you as a parent can do to help your child in this process, and what to expect going forward.
There are no one-size-fits-all parenting plans. Parenting plans need to take into account the specific needs of each family. And while I as an attorney, can evaluate your situation and give my professional advice, as to how a court might deal with your custody dispute. I’m not trained to provide you information about how your children are handling the separation, what their concerns are, or what you can do to protect them from any negative effects of your divorce. A child specialist does have this training, and good ones provide this powerful information in a way that allows parents to craft the best possible parenting plan for their children.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackie, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh, law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from couples with children is, “Do I really need to involve a child specialist? My children seem to be doing okay.” My answer is always, “Please, for the sake of your children, seriously consider involving a child specialist.” A child specialist can have a dramatic impact on how well your children make this life transition. What children need most during a time of great uncertainty is to have their needs understood, and to have their needs considered as part of the family’s future. The most important benefit of Collaborative Divorce is that children get a voice in their future. This voice empowers them, helping them to feel connected, confident, and comfortable, in what would ordinarily be a very scary and confusing time in their life.
Having this voice produces healthier children and healthier families. In this process, your child works with someone like me. Someone fun and entertaining, a child psychologist specifically trained as an expert on the impact of divorce on children. The child specialist focuses on helping your child relax, and share their true feelings, desires, and worries about the future. The child specialist then sits down with the parents, and shares the needs of the children in a clear caring way. And serves as a resource for them going forward, to address their questions and concerns. Even if your children are doing exceptionally well, or even just doing fine, hearing that they’re okay from a trusted neutral expert on child development, can build a huge amount of confidence for parents. Helping free them up to make difficult decisions with a crystal clear understanding of their children’s social, emotional, and behavioral needs. In our process, you get your questions answered, your concerns heard and addressed, and most importantly, you get concrete, caring, expert advice on what you as a parent can do to help your child in this process, and what to expect going forward.
There are no one-size-fits-all parenting plans. Parenting plans need to take into account the specific needs of each family. And while I as an attorney, can evaluate your situation and give my professional advice, as to how a court might deal with your custody dispute. I’m not trained to provide you information about how your children are handling the separation, what their concerns are, or what you can do to protect them from any negative effects of your divorce. A child specialist does have this training, and good ones provide this powerful information in a way that allows parents to craft the best possible parenting plan for their children.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi. I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh, partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. I’m Mike Kothakota, collaborative financial specialist.
A question I sometimes get when a person is considering the collaborative divorce method is this: “I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’ve never handled the family finances”. “Can the collaborative divorce method work for me”? And my answer is that yes, the collaborative divorce method often works very well, even for a spouse who’s not familiar with the family’s investments or who’s not involved with the other spouse’s business.
What I recommend in this situation is that a collaborative financial specialist be made a part of the team along with the collaborative attorneys who represent each of the spouses. The collaborative financial specialist is a neutral. This means that the financial specialist is retained jointly by both spouses, and the financial specialist is someone who is trusted by both of the collaborative attorneys to provide accurate information that’s not biased for or against either of the spouses.
When I’m talking to people about their options, I often describe the family law statutes as a very blunt instrument that judges must use when they divide assets and debt. This is because the law does not require that judges provide property and debt in a way that makes financial sense for the family. Judges don’t need to consider financial projections for each spouse. So that makes the chances of getting to an optimal distribution less likely. Not surprisingly, couples sometimes end up in financial hardships that could have been avoided.
In collaborative divorce, instead of relying just on legal statutes, we also use more precise financial tools. A financial specialist uses these tools to help the couple generate different options. He shows them what the options they’re considering look like down the road. This allows the couple to make informed choices when deciding how to separate their finances. They are empowered to do it in a way that makes sense to their unique situation. A neutral financial specialist provides an atmosphere that creates balance in the financial knowledge of both spouses. Often one spouse has a need to be brought up to speed on the current financial condition of the marital household. By hiring someone who is strictly neutral, both people can be assured that the open and free flow of information is happening.
Financial specialists can help the couple create personalized budgets, identify evaluation issues for property, and create opportunities to minimize the financial impact of the divorce on the family. Using collaborative training, the specialist combines empathy and financial expertise to help both spouses realize the optimal outcome for their family. Most of the people I work with in collaborative divorce are very interested in navigating this life transition in a healthy way. Arguments around finances can create unnecessary drama in a divorce process.
At Springfield Collaborative Divorce, we often find that adding the financial specialist to the collaborative team helps encourage cooperation instead of confrontation and helps to create an environment where a couple can address their financial issues with dignity and display respect, integrity, and kindness toward each other.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi. I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi. I’m Kerry Burleigh, partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. I’m Mike Kothakota, collaborative financial specialist.
A question I sometimes get when a person is considering the collaborative divorce method is this: “I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’ve never handled the family finances”. “Can the collaborative divorce method work for me”? And my answer is that yes, the collaborative divorce method often works very well, even for a spouse who’s not familiar with the family’s investments or who’s not involved with the other spouse’s business.
What I recommend in this situation is that a collaborative financial specialist be made a part of the team along with the collaborative attorneys who represent each of the spouses. The collaborative financial specialist is a neutral. This means that the financial specialist is retained jointly by both spouses, and the financial specialist is someone who is trusted by both of the collaborative attorneys to provide accurate information that’s not biased for or against either of the spouses.
When I’m talking to people about their options, I often describe the family law statutes as a very blunt instrument that judges must use when they divide assets and debt. This is because the law does not require that judges provide property and debt in a way that makes financial sense for the family. Judges don’t need to consider financial projections for each spouse. So that makes the chances of getting to an optimal distribution less likely. Not surprisingly, couples sometimes end up in financial hardships that could have been avoided.
In collaborative divorce, instead of relying just on legal statutes, we also use more precise financial tools. A financial specialist uses these tools to help the couple generate different options. He shows them what the options they’re considering look like down the road. This allows the couple to make informed choices when deciding how to separate their finances. They are empowered to do it in a way that makes sense to their unique situation. A neutral financial specialist provides an atmosphere that creates balance in the financial knowledge of both spouses. Often one spouse has a need to be brought up to speed on the current financial condition of the marital household. By hiring someone who is strictly neutral, both people can be assured that the open and free flow of information is happening.
Financial specialists can help the couple create personalized budgets, identify evaluation issues for property, and create opportunities to minimize the financial impact of the divorce on the family. Using collaborative training, the specialist combines empathy and financial expertise to help both spouses realize the optimal outcome for their family. Most of the people I work with in collaborative divorce are very interested in navigating this life transition in a healthy way. Arguments around finances can create unnecessary drama in a divorce process.
At Springfield Collaborative Divorce, we often find that adding the financial specialist to the collaborative team helps encourage cooperation instead of confrontation and helps to create an environment where a couple can address their financial issues with dignity and display respect, integrity, and kindness toward each other.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackey, a child psychologist and I’m the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh, Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from folks thinking about the agonizing decision to separate and divorce is this, I’d really like to use the collaborative method and avoid the court process. But I just don’t think my spouse can be collaborative. Can I really avoid the drama? My answer is typically yes. There’s not an expectation that couples themselves, particularly at the initial stages of divorce will be collaborative. This reveals a common misunderstanding about who can benefit from collaborative law and what collaborative law means. Collaborative law started about 20 years ago when a Minnesota divorce lawyer named Stew Webb became exasperated with what his divorce practice and the court system were doing to families. He brought together a small group of lawyers who agreed that they would make a contract with their clients to help them negotiate a good agreement and keep them out of court.
These lawyers agreed that they would help their clients problem solve, instead of engage in adversarial negotiations, and that other specialist like child psychologists, and financial planners would be used differently and more effectively to help families make a healthy transition. So in reality it’s not so much that couples must be collaborative, it’s really about how the attorneys behave. At Springfield Collaborative Divorce there’s a clear expectation that the attorney’s using the collaborative method will help to reduce and not make worse the drama so often associated with divorce. You might be wondering what we mean when we say, “Divorce without drama.” Clearly there’s a lot of emotion involved in divorce and separation. When we say, “Divorce without drama” we don’t mean that there aren’t difficult legal, financial and emotions decisions to make. What we do mean is that in a collaborative divorce we, as attorneys operate in a manner that does not add to or escalate the drama.
For example, an attorney in a adversarial process might advise a client whose requesting advice to withdraw all the money from joint accounts, change the locks on the door, or perhaps limit or withhold access to the children. This kind of advice is what adds to the drama of an already difficult and scary situation, and can make reaching a resolution even more problematic than it was to begin with. In contrast, when people are using a collaborative method they agree not to take any preemptive actions which would sabotage the other person. With protections of collaborative method separating spouses are not reduced to destructively tearing apart their own lives, depleting financial and emotional resources.
By choosing the collaborative method our clients can begin building their new lives right away and with less drama. As a mental health professional, I’ve spent the better part of my career helping to repair the damage and mistrust caused when drama overtakes a family going through a divorce. To well established that the intense stress, confusion, and conflict often present in methods of traditional divorce can have a substantial impact on children’s short and long term mental health. The collaborative method, our method offers an alternative to this path for your children. In this method, parents who are the people who know and understand their children best make all of the decisions for their children’s future, rather than lawyers, judges or custody evaluators.
In our process your team of professionals are specifically trained and motivated to act in the best interest of your entire family, especially your children. Your team is here to help you problem solve, freeing up more of your time and energy to focus on your children. What I see in our method of divorce are parents who feel more confident and empowered. We teach the skills necessary to have difficult conversations and to advocate for your needs, while listening to those of your spouse. These parents make outstanding role models for their children when it comes to handling conflict and family tension. The skills they learn help their relationship with their co-parent and their child for life. Without the drama so often typical of traditional divorce methods, our method gives the families we work with the very best opportunity for a healthy, happy future in two households.
In the 20 years since Stu Webb coined the term, “Collaborative Law” thousands and thousands of divorce lawyers across the country have taken collaborative law trainings, and thousands and thousands of collaborative cases have been successfully resolved. In North Carolina the State Legislator passed a law in 2003 codifying collaborative law and making it part of the family law statues.
Unfortunately, there are many lawyers who say they offer collaborative law services in North Carolina even though they have traditional court oriented law firms. Even though they seldom actually have cases in which they follow the statues that govern the collaborative method, divorce without drama is a lofty goal. But it’s a goal we take very seriously at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. We only accept cases in which the couple has decided to proceed using the collaborative method. Mark and I both made the choice to only accept cases using the collaborative method because we are convinced that this method is the best way to help our clients make the difficult transition of divorce. We have experienced representing people in hundreds of collaborative cases.
Even in emotionally charged cases, we navigate the legal pitfalls and emotional hurdles common in divorce. We are passionate about this approach to reaching a divorce settlement. It encourages cooperation instead of confrontation and it creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackey, a child psychologist and I’m the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh, Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from folks thinking about the agonizing decision to separate and divorce is this, I’d really like to use the collaborative method and avoid the court process. But I just don’t think my spouse can be collaborative. Can I really avoid the drama? My answer is typically yes. There’s not an expectation that couples themselves, particularly at the initial stages of divorce will be collaborative. This reveals a common misunderstanding about who can benefit from collaborative law and what collaborative law means. Collaborative law started about 20 years ago when a Minnesota divorce lawyer named Stew Webb became exasperated with what his divorce practice and the court system were doing to families. He brought together a small group of lawyers who agreed that they would make a contract with their clients to help them negotiate a good agreement and keep them out of court.
These lawyers agreed that they would help their clients problem solve, instead of engage in adversarial negotiations, and that other specialist like child psychologists, and financial planners would be used differently and more effectively to help families make a healthy transition. So in reality it’s not so much that couples must be collaborative, it’s really about how the attorneys behave. At Springfield Collaborative Divorce there’s a clear expectation that the attorney’s using the collaborative method will help to reduce and not make worse the drama so often associated with divorce. You might be wondering what we mean when we say, “Divorce without drama.” Clearly there’s a lot of emotion involved in divorce and separation. When we say, “Divorce without drama” we don’t mean that there aren’t difficult legal, financial and emotions decisions to make. What we do mean is that in a collaborative divorce we, as attorneys operate in a manner that does not add to or escalate the drama.
For example, an attorney in a adversarial process might advise a client whose requesting advice to withdraw all the money from joint accounts, change the locks on the door, or perhaps limit or withhold access to the children. This kind of advice is what adds to the drama of an already difficult and scary situation, and can make reaching a resolution even more problematic than it was to begin with. In contrast, when people are using a collaborative method they agree not to take any preemptive actions which would sabotage the other person. With protections of collaborative method separating spouses are not reduced to destructively tearing apart their own lives, depleting financial and emotional resources.
By choosing the collaborative method our clients can begin building their new lives right away and with less drama. As a mental health professional, I’ve spent the better part of my career helping to repair the damage and mistrust caused when drama overtakes a family going through a divorce. To well established that the intense stress, confusion, and conflict often present in methods of traditional divorce can have a substantial impact on children’s short and long term mental health. The collaborative method, our method offers an alternative to this path for your children. In this method, parents who are the people who know and understand their children best make all of the decisions for their children’s future, rather than lawyers, judges or custody evaluators.
In our process your team of professionals are specifically trained and motivated to act in the best interest of your entire family, especially your children. Your team is here to help you problem solve, freeing up more of your time and energy to focus on your children. What I see in our method of divorce are parents who feel more confident and empowered. We teach the skills necessary to have difficult conversations and to advocate for your needs, while listening to those of your spouse. These parents make outstanding role models for their children when it comes to handling conflict and family tension. The skills they learn help their relationship with their co-parent and their child for life. Without the drama so often typical of traditional divorce methods, our method gives the families we work with the very best opportunity for a healthy, happy future in two households.
In the 20 years since Stu Webb coined the term, “Collaborative Law” thousands and thousands of divorce lawyers across the country have taken collaborative law trainings, and thousands and thousands of collaborative cases have been successfully resolved. In North Carolina the State Legislator passed a law in 2003 codifying collaborative law and making it part of the family law statues.
Unfortunately, there are many lawyers who say they offer collaborative law services in North Carolina even though they have traditional court oriented law firms. Even though they seldom actually have cases in which they follow the statues that govern the collaborative method, divorce without drama is a lofty goal. But it’s a goal we take very seriously at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. We only accept cases in which the couple has decided to proceed using the collaborative method. Mark and I both made the choice to only accept cases using the collaborative method because we are convinced that this method is the best way to help our clients make the difficult transition of divorce. We have experienced representing people in hundreds of collaborative cases.
Even in emotionally charged cases, we navigate the legal pitfalls and emotional hurdles common in divorce. We are passionate about this approach to reaching a divorce settlement. It encourages cooperation instead of confrontation and it creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Kerry Burleigh
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackey, a child psychologist and I’m the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh, Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. A common question I get from folks thinking about the agonizing decision to separate and divorce is this, I’d really like to use the collaborative method and avoid the court process. But I just don’t think my spouse can be collaborative. Can I really avoid the drama? My answer is typically yes. There’s not an expectation that couples themselves, particularly at the initial stages of divorce will be collaborative.
This reveals a common misunderstanding about who can benefit from collaborative law and what collaborative law means. Collaborative law started about (20) years ago when a Minnesota divorce lawyer named Stew Webb became exasperated with what his divorce practice and the court system were doing to families. He brought together a small group of lawyers who agreed that they would make a contract with their clients to help them negotiate a good agreement and keep them out of court. These lawyers agreed that they would help their clients problem solve, instead of engage in adversarial negotiations, and that other specialist like child psychologists, and financial planners would be used differently and more effectively to help families make a healthy transition.
So in reality it’s not so much that couples must be collaborative, it’s really about how the attorneys behave. At Springfield Collaborative Divorce there’s a clear expectation that the attorney’s using the collaborative method will help to reduce and not make worse the drama so often associated with divorce. You might be wondering what we mean when we say, “Divorce without drama.” Clearly there’s a lot of emotion involved in divorce and separation. When we say, “Divorce without drama” we don’t mean that there aren’t difficult legal, financial and emotions decisions to make. What we do mean is that in a collaborative divorce we, as attorneys operate in a manner that does not add to or escalate the drama.
For example, an attorney in a adversarial process might advise a client whose requesting advice to withdraw all the money from joint accounts, change the locks on the door, or perhaps limit or withhold access to the children. This kind of advice is what adds to the drama of an already difficult and scary situation, and can make reaching a resolution even more problematic than it was to begin with.
In contrast, when people are using a collaborative method they agree not to take any preemptive actions which would sabotage the other person. With protections of collaborative method separating spouses are not reduced to destructively tearing apart their own lives, depleting financial and emotional resources. By choosing the collaborative method our clients can begin building their new lives right away and with less drama. As a mental health professional, I’ve spent the better part of my career helping to repair the damage and mistrust caused when drama overtakes a family going through a divorce. To well established that the intense stress, confusion, and conflict often present in methods of traditional divorce can have a substantial impact on children’s short and long term mental health.
The collaborative method, our method offers an alternative to this path for your children. In this method, parents who are the people who know and understand their children best make all of the decisions for their children’s future, rather than lawyers, judges or custody evaluators. In our process your team of professionals are specifically trained and motivated to act in the best interest of your entire family, especially your children. Your team is here to help you problem solve, freeing up more of your time and energy to focus on your children. What I see in our method of divorce are parents who feel more confident and empowered. We teach the skills necessary to have difficult conversations and to advocate for your needs, while listening to those of your spouse. These parents make outstanding role models for their children when it comes to handling conflict and family tension. The skills they learn help their relationship with their co-parent and their child for life.
Without the drama so often typical of traditional divorce methods, our method gives the families we work with the very best opportunity for a healthy, happy future in two households. In the 20 years since Stu Webb coined the term, “Collaborative Law” thousands and thousands of divorce lawyers across the country have taken collaborative law trainings, and thousands and thousands of collaborative cases have been successfully resolved. In North Carolina the State Legislator passed a law in 2003 codifying collaborative law and making it part of the family law statues. Unfortunately, there are many lawyers who say they offer collaborative law services in North Carolina even though they have traditional court oriented law firms. Even though they seldom actually have cases in which they follow the statues that govern the collaborative method, divorce without drama is a lofty goal.
But it’s a goal we take very seriously at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. We only accept cases in which the couple has decided to proceed using the collaborative method. Mark and I both made the choice to only accept cases using the collaborative method because we are convinced that this method is the best way to help our clients make the difficult transition of divorce. We have experienced representing people in hundreds of collaborative cases. Even in emotionally charged cases, we navigate the legal pitfalls and emotional hurdles common in divorce. We are passionate about this approach to reaching a divorce settlement. It encourages cooperation instead of confrontation and it creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackey, a child psychologist and I’m the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh, Law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. A common question I get from folks thinking about the agonizing decision to separate and divorce is this, I’d really like to use the collaborative method and avoid the court process. But I just don’t think my spouse can be collaborative. Can I really avoid the drama? My answer is typically yes. There’s not an expectation that couples themselves, particularly at the initial stages of divorce will be collaborative.
This reveals a common misunderstanding about who can benefit from collaborative law and what collaborative law means. Collaborative law started about (20) years ago when a Minnesota divorce lawyer named Stew Webb became exasperated with what his divorce practice and the court system were doing to families. He brought together a small group of lawyers who agreed that they would make a contract with their clients to help them negotiate a good agreement and keep them out of court. These lawyers agreed that they would help their clients problem solve, instead of engage in adversarial negotiations, and that other specialist like child psychologists, and financial planners would be used differently and more effectively to help families make a healthy transition.
So in reality it’s not so much that couples must be collaborative, it’s really about how the attorneys behave. At Springfield Collaborative Divorce there’s a clear expectation that the attorney’s using the collaborative method will help to reduce and not make worse the drama so often associated with divorce. You might be wondering what we mean when we say, “Divorce without drama.” Clearly there’s a lot of emotion involved in divorce and separation. When we say, “Divorce without drama” we don’t mean that there aren’t difficult legal, financial and emotions decisions to make. What we do mean is that in a collaborative divorce we, as attorneys operate in a manner that does not add to or escalate the drama.
For example, an attorney in a adversarial process might advise a client whose requesting advice to withdraw all the money from joint accounts, change the locks on the door, or perhaps limit or withhold access to the children. This kind of advice is what adds to the drama of an already difficult and scary situation, and can make reaching a resolution even more problematic than it was to begin with.
In contrast, when people are using a collaborative method they agree not to take any preemptive actions which would sabotage the other person. With protections of collaborative method separating spouses are not reduced to destructively tearing apart their own lives, depleting financial and emotional resources. By choosing the collaborative method our clients can begin building their new lives right away and with less drama. As a mental health professional, I’ve spent the better part of my career helping to repair the damage and mistrust caused when drama overtakes a family going through a divorce. To well established that the intense stress, confusion, and conflict often present in methods of traditional divorce can have a substantial impact on children’s short and long term mental health.
The collaborative method, our method offers an alternative to this path for your children. In this method, parents who are the people who know and understand their children best make all of the decisions for their children’s future, rather than lawyers, judges or custody evaluators. In our process your team of professionals are specifically trained and motivated to act in the best interest of your entire family, especially your children. Your team is here to help you problem solve, freeing up more of your time and energy to focus on your children. What I see in our method of divorce are parents who feel more confident and empowered. We teach the skills necessary to have difficult conversations and to advocate for your needs, while listening to those of your spouse. These parents make outstanding role models for their children when it comes to handling conflict and family tension. The skills they learn help their relationship with their co-parent and their child for life.
Without the drama so often typical of traditional divorce methods, our method gives the families we work with the very best opportunity for a healthy, happy future in two households. In the 20 years since Stu Webb coined the term, “Collaborative Law” thousands and thousands of divorce lawyers across the country have taken collaborative law trainings, and thousands and thousands of collaborative cases have been successfully resolved. In North Carolina the State Legislator passed a law in 2003 codifying collaborative law and making it part of the family law statues. Unfortunately, there are many lawyers who say they offer collaborative law services in North Carolina even though they have traditional court oriented law firms. Even though they seldom actually have cases in which they follow the statues that govern the collaborative method, divorce without drama is a lofty goal.
But it’s a goal we take very seriously at Springfield Collaborative Divorce. We only accept cases in which the couple has decided to proceed using the collaborative method. Mark and I both made the choice to only accept cases using the collaborative method because we are convinced that this method is the best way to help our clients make the difficult transition of divorce. We have experienced representing people in hundreds of collaborative cases. Even in emotionally charged cases, we navigate the legal pitfalls and emotional hurdles common in divorce. We are passionate about this approach to reaching a divorce settlement. It encourages cooperation instead of confrontation and it creates an environment where a couple can divorce with dignity and display respect, integrity and kindness toward each other.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackie, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh, law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from couples with children is, “Do I really need to involve a child specialist? My children seem to be doing okay.” My answer is always, “Please, for the sake of your children, seriously consider involving a child specialist.” A child specialist can have a dramatic impact on how well your children make this life transition. What children need most during a time of great uncertainty is to have their needs understood, and to have their needs considered as part of the family’s future. The most important benefit of Collaborative Divorce is that children get a voice in their future. This voice empowers them, helping them to feel connected, confident, and comfortable, in what would ordinarily be a very scary and confusing time in their life. Having this voice produces healthier children and healthier families.
In this process, your child works with someone like me. Someone fun and entertaining, a child psychologist specifically trained as an expert on the impact of divorce on children. The child specialist focuses on helping your child relax, and share their true feelings, desires, and worries about the future. The child specialist then sits down with the parents, and shares the needs of the children in a clear caring way. And serves as a resource for them going forward, to address their questions and concerns.
Even if your children are doing exceptionally well, or even just doing fine, hearing that they’re okay from a trusted neutral expert on child development, can build a huge amount of confidence for parents. Helping free them up to make difficult decisions with a crystal clear understanding of their children’s social, emotional, and behavioral needs.
In our process, you get your questions answered, your concerns heard and addressed, and most importantly, you get concrete, caring, expert advice on what you as a parent can do to help your child in this process, and what to expect going forward. There are no one-size-fits-all parenting plans.
Parenting plans need to take into account the specific needs of each family. And while I as an attorney, can evaluate your situation and give my professional advice, as to how a court might deal with your custody dispute. I’m not trained to provide you information about how your children are handling the separation, what their concerns are, or what you can do to protect them from any negative effects of your divorce. A child specialist does have this training, and good ones provide this powerful information in a way that allows parents to craft the best possible parenting plan for their children.
By: Mark Springfield
Hi, I’m Mark Springfield, founder and partner in Springfield Collaborative Divorce. Hi, I’m Doctor Brian Mackie, a child psychologist, and I am the voice of your child in this process. Hi, I’m Kerry Burleigh, law partner at Springfield Collaborative Divorce.
A common question I get from couples with children is, “Do I really need to involve a child specialist? My children seem to be doing okay.” My answer is always, “Please, for the sake of your children, seriously consider involving a child specialist.” A child specialist can have a dramatic impact on how well your children make this life transition. What children need most during a time of great uncertainty is to have their needs understood, and to have their needs considered as part of the family’s future. The most important benefit of Collaborative Divorce is that children get a voice in their future. This voice empowers them, helping them to feel connected, confident, and comfortable, in what would ordinarily be a very scary and confusing time in their life. Having this voice produces healthier children and healthier families.
In this process, your child works with someone like me. Someone fun and entertaining, a child psychologist specifically trained as an expert on the impact of divorce on children. The child specialist focuses on helping your child relax, and share their true feelings, desires, and worries about the future. The child specialist then sits down with the parents, and shares the needs of the children in a clear caring way. And serves as a resource for them going forward, to address their questions and concerns.
Even if your children are doing exceptionally well, or even just doing fine, hearing that they’re okay from a trusted neutral expert on child development, can build a huge amount of confidence for parents. Helping free them up to make difficult decisions with a crystal clear understanding of their children’s social, emotional, and behavioral needs.
In our process, you get your questions answered, your concerns heard and addressed, and most importantly, you get concrete, caring, expert advice on what you as a parent can do to help your child in this process, and what to expect going forward. There are no one-size-fits-all parenting plans.
Parenting plans need to take into account the specific needs of each family. And while I as an attorney, can evaluate your situation and give my professional advice, as to how a court might deal with your custody dispute. I’m not trained to provide you information about how your children are handling the separation, what their concerns are, or what you can do to protect them from any negative effects of your divorce. A child specialist does have this training, and good ones provide this powerful information in a way that allows parents to craft the best possible parenting plan for their children.
By: Mark Springfield
After seeing the pain and devastation in those drawings, I can’t help but feel the grief and frustration of those children. How confusing and unsettling the divorce was for them, and has been for so many others. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than children caught in the middle of a bitter divorce contest. Parents know this. No one wants it for their children. And so, more and more people who are facing the crisis of divorce, are looking for a legal process that will protect their rights. But that won’t pull them into even more conflict than they’re already experiencing.
Collaborative divorce is a way for families in conflict to avoid going to court, and having a judge tell them how they’re going to raise their children. When the collaborative divorce process was first explained to me, over a decade ago. I almost immediately knew this is how I want to spend the rest of my legal career. I’d always known that I wanted to help people resolve conflicts. And for many years, I did that by taking cases to court. But the winner take all approach of the courtroom, so damaging to families. And especially to children. With the collaborative divorce method, I’m able to help people resolve their conflicts. But now I’m doing it in a way that is much more likely to help couples and families after divorce, move on with dignity and with hope. One of the things I appreciate about collaborative divorce, and what draws me to practicing it. Is the way that it focuses parent on problem solving, for the needs of their children. Both during the divorce, and for their future. So even if they have to raise their children from two different homes, they can still be the great parents they’ve always tried to be. We invite you to spend some more time on our website. We have lots of information about the collaborative divorce process.
We have the North Carolina Collaborative Divorce Guide. We have a video series called, Divorce Without Drama. We have frequently asked questions. We’d really like for you to understand the collaborative divorce option before you make decisions. And of course we’d welcome a call, and we’d be happy to setup an appointment to speak with you.
By: Kerry Burleigh
After seeing the pain and devastation in those drawings, I can’t help but feel the grief and frustration of those children. How confusing and unsettling the divorce was for them, and has been for so many others. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than children caught in the middle of a bitter divorce contest. Parents know this. No one wants it for their children. And so, more and more people who are facing the crisis of divorce, are looking for a legal process that will protect their rights. But that won’t pull them into even more conflict than they’re already experiencing.
Collaborative divorce is a way for families in conflict to avoid going to court, and having a judge tell them how they’re going to raise their children. When the collaborative divorce process was first explained to me, over a decade ago. I almost immediately knew this is how I want to spend the rest of my legal career. I’d always known that I wanted to help people resolve conflicts. And for many years, I did that by taking cases to court. But the winner take all approach of the courtroom, so damaging to families. And especially to children. With the collaborative divorce method, I’m able to help people resolve their conflicts. But now I’m doing it in a way that is much more likely to help couples and families after divorce, move on with dignity and with hope. One of the things I appreciate about collaborative divorce, and what draws me to practicing it. Is the way that it focuses parent on problem solving, for the needs of their children. Both during the divorce, and for their future. So even if they have to raise their children from two different homes, they can still be the great parents they’ve always tried to be. We invite you to spend some more time on our website. We have lots of information about the collaborative divorce process.
We have the North Carolina Collaborative Divorce Guide. We have a video series called, Divorce Without Drama. We have frequently asked questions. We’d really like for you to understand the collaborative divorce option before you make decisions. And of course we’d welcome a call, and we’d be happy to setup an appointment to speak with you.
By: Kerry Burleigh
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