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50-50 Parenting Arrangement | New Rochelle Divorce

Katherine Miller | 323 Views | 11/11/2015

Is 50/50 a good parenting arrangement?

People often come in and want – demand – 50/50 and this is particularly problematic, I think, for parents who’ve had a traditional relationship. They’ve had one parent, typically the wife and mother, staying home, raising the children. And the other spouse, typically the husband and bread winner, spending time outside of the home, earning money, and being home in the evenings and on the weekends. When that person, typically the husband, comes in and is demanding 50/50, that can feel very threatening to a person who’s been a stay at home mom. And we struggle with what that means.

What does 50/50 really mean?

And I think that’s really the answer to the question.  We want – it’s good for kids to have involvement, close regular, as frequent as possible contact with both parents so that they can feel their parents alive and present in their lives, not just on every other weekend or Wednesday night in a traditional type divorce parenting arrangement. We want people to be involved with their parents and their children on an everyday basis.

Think About Children First

When we think about 50/50 parenting or any parenting arrangement for that matter, we really need to think about our kids and not ourselves.  Even though the most painful thing, in my own experience of divorce, is that the most painful part is not being with my kids every minute of every day that they’re not in school or at an activity or at a playdate or something like that. The most painful thing is to walk into their bedroom at night when they’re sleeping and they’re not there. And that is the biggest adjustment that any of us as parents need to make in the divorce process, and it can be not all bad. There can be a silver lining to that sharing of parenting responsibility. But we need to find a way that is comfortable enough for the kids primarily to be able to grow and blossom with divorced parents and then to make it comfortable also for the parents.

This is Katherine Miller. Thanks for watching YourTangos quickies. Connect with me at yourtango.com/experts/Katherine_Miller. I’d like to help you negotiate a good divorce. Visit me online at KEM-Law.com.

By: Katherine Miller

50-50 Parenting Arrangement | New Rochelle Divorce

Is 50/50 a good parenting arrangement?

People often come in and want – demand – 50/50 and this is particularly problematic, I think, for parents who’ve had a traditional relationship. They’ve had one parent, typically the wife and mother, staying home, raising the children. And the other spouse, typically the husband and bread winner, spending time outside of the home, earning money, and being home in the evenings and on the weekends. When that person, typically the husband, comes in and is demanding 50/50, that can feel very threatening to a person who’s been a stay at home mom. And we struggle with what that means.

What does 50/50 really mean?

And I think that’s really the answer to the question.  We want – it’s good for kids to have involvement, close regular, as frequent as possible contact with both parents so that they can feel their parents alive and present in their lives, not just on every other weekend or Wednesday night in a traditional type divorce parenting arrangement. We want people to be involved with their parents and their children on an everyday basis.

Think About Children First

When we think about 50/50 parenting or any parenting arrangement for that matter, we really need to think about our kids and not ourselves.  Even though the most painful thing, in my own experience of divorce, is that the most painful part is not being with my kids every minute of every day that they’re not in school or at an activity or at a playdate or something like that. The most painful thing is to walk into their bedroom at night when they’re sleeping and they’re not there. And that is the biggest adjustment that any of us as parents need to make in the divorce process, and it can be not all bad. There can be a silver lining to that sharing of parenting responsibility. But we need to find a way that is comfortable enough for the kids primarily to be able to grow and blossom with divorced parents and then to make it comfortable also for the parents.

This is Katherine Miller. Thanks for watching YourTangos quickies. Connect with me at yourtango.com/experts/Katherine_Miller. I’d like to help you negotiate a good divorce. Visit me online at KEM-Law.com.

By: Katherine Miller